In Uganda, I was given a new way of following the Lord. I am now in a state of surrender, which had never truly happened before. I’m in a place where I must be completely obedient to the Lord, or I won’t survive. Nothing is in my control at all.
This place reminds of white water rafting on the Nile, which I gave up on halfway through the day out of utter fear. We had to follow the guide’s instructions on paddling, grabbing the rope, etc., or we would not have survived. If I went with what I thought was a better way of paddling, stopped grabbing the rope, or decided to paddle or not paddle in certain spots, I could have put myself or my team in serious danger. The same way is with the Lord right now: I’m on life’s rapids, and if I decide to paddle my own way, I’m not going to survive. Even if I don’t understand the things the Lord is instructing me to do, I still need to do them. I ran away from rafting halfway through the day, but I’m not going to run away from what the Lord has for me to do.
On this trip, the Lord taught me what matters. And those things are:
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A passionate desire to be led by my heavenly Father
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Loving those He loves and to see the image of God in everyone
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Being in complete surrendered submission to God’s plan
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Continuously going deeper and searching the ways of God’s heart
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Relentless intimacy with Christ as His bride
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Living the Great Commission
I’m in a new place, living out what actually matters. Everything about me is different; every part of me, my life, and the way I’m following the Lord has been transformed. It’s as if I was handed a new body, life, and path; and I’m still trying to break it all in, like a new pair of shoes. Thus, like Brennen, I also feel very “weird.”
The Lord, however, has reminded me in a song by Misty Edwards; if we are to be like Jesus, we must live in surrender. We don’t have to be concerned though, because He is good, and will lead us in the direction that is best for us.
“Jesus only did what He saw You do, He would only say what He heard You speak, He would only move when He felt You lead, following Your heart, following Your spirit. How can I expect to walk without You? When every move that Jesus made was in surrender? I will not begin to walk without You, You alone are worthy, You are always good…” –Where You Go I Go
