“You’re the big mama!”

Once again it has been an amazing week here in Uganda! Something I've learned about living in a third world country; the highs are high and the lows are low. I could sit here and tell you about the low times, the times of sadness, disappointment, loneliness, ect. But the truth is, talking about them and dwelling on them, won't change anything. So instead I want to share with you a few of the highs!

High number one came in the form of a road trip. In case you don't know- I LOVE roadtrips! There is just something about driving down the road, music up and windows down! There is a peaceful excitement in it (if that makes any sense). Well a roadtrip in Africa is even better. Pastor plugged in his i-pod consisting of about 15 songs and we started jammin' to swichfoot, relient K, and zoegirl (not even kidding). It was just a freeing feeling sitting in the back of his SUV, singing, wind blowing in my face. In that time I realized the freedom in my life. I spend so much time stressing about what is next. Should I go to school? If so, what do I study? Should I apply for internships across the country? Do I pick up and move to another country? But as I stressed over these decisions I thought of something- it doesn't matter. I am 19 years old. I have never been one to think that age defines a person. I believe that young people have the ability to do extraordinary things. But at the same time I am ONLY 19. I basically have an entire life ahead of me. I'm not anywhere close to marriage. I love my friends and family, but I know they will be around when I come home. I'm not tied down to anything. I have a list in my journal of potential next steps for my life and I can honestly pick up and do ANYTHING. Now, if you have ever spent any amount of time with me you'll know that I can't make decisions. Not one. I write pro and con lists about what to wear in the morning (wish I was kidding folks). But there's a part of the freedom in following Christ, I don't have to decide. All I have to do is listen and follow his will. What a relief to know that my life is in the hands of the God who created me and already has a plan for every day of my life!

Second high of the week came on Tuesday. In the morning I decided I was going to go to "Child Restoration Outreach". I had never been there, and I honestly wasn't really interested in it, but for some reason I volunteered to go. Oh man am I glad! Child restoration is a place for street kids to spend their days. They can come get a warm meal, bathe, and take some classes so that IF they are able to get back into a school system they won't be behind. I volunteered to be a part of the education department. I'm interested in becoming a teacher so I thought it would be fun to sit in on a class. Fredric (the intern in charge of Tuesday's class) brought me into a class full of street boys. They were dirty, and smelly, and were probably saying inappropriate things behind my back. I was just sitting in, watching as Fredric taught and loved on these boys. As I was sitting an observing Fredric told the class their new teacher, Darby, was going to teach them. I laughed a bit, but I was excited to get to interact with the kids some. So I began to teach English. We were going through questions and answers and eventually I asked, "What is your mother's name?". A boy who had been participating all class stood up and said "My mother's name is Darby". The next boy stood up and said "My mother's name is Darby", eventually they all were saying it. Fredric just looked at me and said, "You are the big mama!". Now that's a funny way to put it, it made me laugh that's for sure, but at the same time it made my heart melt. Most of these boys don't have mothers. They don't have someone taking care of them and loving on them. All I could do in that moment was tell them how much I loved them, no matter what, all the time. It didn't matter that I had only known them for an hour, I loved them with the love that my mother has taught me to love with.

The boys at child restoration reminded me of the lost boys in peter pan. And in this situation peter pan comes in the form of a little boy named Aziz. Aziz is one special 13 year old. Well, I think he's 13. In class when I asked how old he was he answered "I am 20 years old"! Later, he told me he was really 13 (13 seams like a stretch still, but it's much closer than 20). Aziz came late to class, but when he walked in he had a presence about him, I honestly can't describe it, but when he walked into the class I could just feel something special about him. He was forward in joking with me and was just completely real. This kid isn't your typical awkward 13 year old. The kid has tattoos for crying out loud. But the true joy I got was when I watched him dance.

Being a theater kid I spent a good amount of my life in dance class. I have studied tap, jazz, ballet, lyrical, point, and modern dance in many different studios. But I have never in my life seen a person so effortlessly dance with such grace and flexibility. When Aziz dances my heart literally smiles. Words can not do justice to this little boy. All I could think about is "why aren't their arts schools in Uganda?!" and "This sucks that such a naturally tallented child doesn't have the chance to share this gift with the world or even to develop this gift further in classes!" and "If Ellen DeGenrous saw this, she would know what to do!". Then I thought of the quote by some person, I honestly can't remember who (and I have a lack of access to google or cha-cha here) but what is says is "Don't let the fear of what you can't do stop you from doing what you can do" (or something like that). Truth is, I am 19, I haven't graduated college, I live with my parents, and I work a  part time job. As much as I would love to adopt this little boy, take him to the performing arts school I got to go to, send him to Julliard, and be his proud mama in the audience of so you think you can dance, that is unrealistic. So what CAN I do for him? I can tell his story. I can tell people like YOU about Aziz and his passion for dance. I can tell you about his passion for learning and his desire to go to school. I can make videos and show all of my friends the little boy in Uganda that has an uncompilable gift. And maybe, just maybe it will set a spark in YOU. Maybe just maybe it will inspire you to take action. Aziz has inspired me to show the world himself. He is so special and so talented and though he may not know it yet, he is so lovable.

This is just one child of the many that live homeless on the streets of Uganda, getting beaten by the police and fighting for a chance of a bright future. I may not be able to help every singe one of those boys but I am going to start with one. So while I don't know how to get Aziz to school and I don't know how to find him outlets to dance in, I am not going to sit and do nothing. I believe that God put this little boy in my life for a reason and though I personally have nothing to offer, I KNOW that just like God has plans for my life, He has plans for Aziz aswell. I have no idea what is going to come of my relationship with Aziz and the spark that he's lit in my heart, but I am going to trust that God will direct me in where to take it.
To everyone back home, I love and miss you very much. I am praying for you all, all the time. I pray that the story of Aziz inspires you the way it does me. And I pray that you feel the freedom of completely surrendering your life to God! Have a great week everyone! Talk to you after Kenya!

<3 Darby

P.S. Sorry it's such a long blog- I got a bit carried away, but I honestly didn't want to cut anything out!