I have now been back in the U.S. for a week and a half and wanted to share some final reflections about the trip. I’ll try to cover a variety of topics and give you my main takeaways in each area – obviously no blog could adequately summarize four months of experiences, emotions, and growth, but I’ll at least try to hit the highlights.
I want to start by talking about what I learned about God during my time in Uganda. During my time there, the idea of God’s provision just kept becoming apparent to me. The first couple weeks were difficult for me and I quickly reached a point where my own shortcomings were obvious and I had a real sense of dependence upon God – dependence for safety, for physical and emotional endurance, and most of all for opportunities for fruitful ministry. That dependence drove us toward more time in the Bible and in prayer, both individually and corporately. While being dependent upon someone else is a vulnerable position to be in – I saw God provide in all those areas overwhelmingly. I believe that God equipped me with boldness to speak, provided encouragement through other people when I needed it and opened up doors for us. I know that on multiple occasions, the conversations I had with others and the opportunities I had to share my faith were answers to prayer and the work of God – not the result of my own labor. I’m so thankful to God for the change He provided in people’s lives through the gospel of Christ. The eternal impact – the spiritual growth that God brought about in my own life and in the lives of others – was more important than any food we gave to someone, or providing any kids with an education; if there is one thing I want people to know about the trip, it is that people’s lives were impacted for Christ, by this team, through the grace of God. Not to us, but to God be the glory.
I also learned so many things from the people of Uganda. First of all, I experienced firsthand a new level of poverty. I don’t want to sound trite, but being there, talking to people struggling to provide for their families, spending time with orphans who live on the street, and meeting an overwhelming number of children who won’t receive an education because they can’t pay for it really opened my eyes and gave me an awareness on another level. Sometimes Americans mention that there are plenty of people in our own communities that need help – that is true – but last time I drove past my local dump I didn’t see children sleeping there and last time I checked we have free public education here(yes, we pay taxes for it haha) …it simply isn’t the same in Uganda. There is also a difference between hearing about it and being there and I now have more of a burden to give financially (or in other ways too I guess) to help. Even in the midst of that poverty though, my Ugandan friends still show a lot of joy. I’m not going to oversimplify things and say that everyone there is this cheerful, joyful, content soul, because they’re not – we met a few people who complained, who were just looking for a handout with no motivation or effort to improve their situation. Overall, however, the people there had a deeper sense of joy and a more simplistic, thankful lifestyle that taught me a lot. I also learned about hospitality from them. The Ugandans I interacted with were extremely welcoming and generous to visitors and it was humbling to be honored so much by people we were meeting for the first time. Specifically, the staff of the hotel where we stayed were loving and inviting from day one. They welcomed us home with enthusiasm every day, served us humbly and joyfully, became our friends, and treated us like family. Living with them changed my perspective about how we should love and respect even strangers.
I think I grew quite a bit personally as well. I was challenged by my team to become more aware of the impact my words carry and believe I grew towards being more of a verbal encourager. I would also say that I became a better listener – living with 12 other people and sharing struggles and stories every day, not to mention all the conversations we had with people in the community, helped me grow in quiet respectfulness for others and as a “question asker.” Perhaps ironically I think I also grew in my boldness in speaking – I was more active in saying things that actually matter – bringing up topics which are sometimes hard for me to discuss and sharing the most important thing in the world to me – what God has done for us through Christ. Finally, I would say I grew in patience. When opening your email suddenly becomes a 10 minute ordeal, washing your clothes takes a couple hours of soaking, scrubbing, and hanging out to dry, and every day you aren’t sure how long you’ll be waiting for the truck that is supposed to come – you just become more patient – we’ll see how long that lasts now that I’m back haha.
I also want to let you know what being home is like. Honestly the best way I can describe it is bittersweet – and more bitter than I was expecting. I’m not a very emotional person, so I figured coming back would mainly be a matter of getting over the jetlag, followed by a few days of slightly sentimental reminiscing. Woof – boy was I wrong – it’s so much more than that. It’s more than just being overwhelmed by choices at the grocery store, or just feeling guilty about the excess we have here – although sometimes I think people hide behind those as an explanation for struggles with re-entry to American life. It is about people. Don’t get me wrong – I have loved coming back and seeing friends and family for the first time in four months; I love and value my community here a lot – but there is still a sense of loss and a grieving process for what was left behind. (A friend of mine related it to a break-up and I really think that is a fitting metaphor). I will miss my Ugandan friends and even more so I miss my team – there is heartache there that I wasn’t expecting. The support and encouragement I got from my 12 teammates who love God and loved me over the past four months is irreplaceable. That sense of community, of camaraderie, of a team united in purpose and spirit, being lifted up when I was weak, challenged, taught, and loved, is not something that is easily found here in the same way. (By the way – the fact that my team was stinking great is not something I take for granted – it is such a blessing from God and an answer to prayers from many of you – thank you so much and thank God). I’m still struggling to find fulfillment here in my day to day life; it isn’t as obvious to see how I’m serving God as I work in Michigan as it was when I was preaching to prisoners in Uganda who had never heard the gospel or just playing with and showing love to an orphan. I know, however, that there are many valuable things to be doing here for Christ and I’m trying to be active and obedient in looking for those opportunities, rather than sedentarily moping about. Even trying to tell stories about my trip can be difficult – I know people care about me and are excited that I’m back from Africa – but when it comes down to it most don’t really want to listen for very long because they weren’t there and they can’t relate (and I don’t hold that against them – it’s kind of like listening to someone else’s vacation stories – you don’t care about it unless you’ve been there).
I guess one of the silver linings of struggling with coming back to America is that it shows how much I really was blessed by my time in Uganda. I will not forget the people I met there or the work that our team did. I want to finish by telling you about my prayers for the community in Lira, now that our team has left. I thank God for the people that put their faith in Jesus Christ and have grown towards God. I pray that God would give them more of the Holy Spirit to teach them and guide them in His love and truth. I pray that they would know the freedom, hope and power they have through life in Christ (Eph. 1:15-23). I pray that they stand firm in the truth they were taught about God (2 Thess. 2:13-15). I pray that they would continue to live in community and build one another up in their faith. I am confident that God, who began a good work in them, will carry it on to completion (Philippians 1:3-6).
Thanks so much for supporting me through this journey – I have been blessed so much through this four month trip – thank you for your thoughts, for your prayers, and for being interested enough to read. May God bless you with grace, peace, and love in abundance.
-john
p.s. here is link for a 20 min video compilation of our trip…in case you have time to kill
http://vimeo.com/42240082
