God is Sovereign

 

Before I moved to Africa, I might have described myself as a bit of a control freak. It took about 30 seconds of life in Uganda before I was broken of all of that. God knew what He was doing in bringing me to this place where I lack control over the most basic areas of life. I am not in control of my health and my physical limitations. I am not in control of what I eat every day for lunch. If we run out of water, I am not even in control of when I take a shower. I am not in control of what each day of ministry looks like. I am not in control of what time something will actually begin, if at all.  I am not in control of who we will encounter and how the conversations will go. All that I am in control of is being obedient to follow Him into the places He calls me and knowing that He will do the rest. This week, God gave me plenty of opportunities to put that into practice and trust that He is, in fact, sovereign. 

 

On Sunday, half of the team hiked out to Kyatoko, the village we have begun ministry in- the same village I hiked to with the guys nearly 2 months ago. This week was the first chance I've had to return since then, and having heard stories from others about ways God is working there, I was excited and ready to see for myself. And I had no idea what to expect, which is completely liberating and slightly terrifying at the same time. 

 

After hiking through the beauty of God's creation, we arrived at a small church and I met the pastor we have begun pattering with. About an hour before the service started, I found myself volunteering to preach the sermon, barely knowing the passage I was to be teaching, and doubting whether I would even have a translator. Though I couldn't have been less in control of the situation, I had an overwhelming sense of peace that God would work. As He has done time and time again throughout this trip, He met me in my need and reminded me that He is strong when I am weak. He didn't call me here because I always have the right words to say in a language that people can understand. He called me when I was weak and foolish and through the ways He has equipped me with all I need, I've come to know that when I boast, I can boast only in Him. I can take no credit for the message I taught, or the fact that by some small miracle, the pastor was able to translate so the Word of God went forth and His glory made known among these people. 

 

As if all of this wasn't enough to learn for one day, church was just the beginning. We spent the afternoon playing with children, talking with and praying for whoever we encountered, doing whatever we could to spread the love of Christ to these people. The darkness and need for the Gospel that I experienced upon first walking through that village weeks ago was just as present this time around, if not more so. As I felt dozens of small hands grasping mine or wrapped tightly around my neck, I witnessed the effects such brokenness has on these kids who watch their parents choose alcohol over raising and loving them. As I prayed for people, I again had no idea if they would ever understand me, or be healed or changed. And in those moments, God whispered that He is in control and He is not finished with this place or these people. 

 

I may never know what comes of the time I have spent here and the ministry I have done. I may never see miraculous healing or revival over this dry land. I know that God 

is completely sovereign and capable of accomplishing such things, and may move in those ways over the next 5 weeks. But up to this point, there haven't really been any revolutionary moments where we've seen God show up in glory and radically change everything from that point onward. Instead, I have seen Him working gradually, slowly, in the still, small whisper, in the quiet moments that could almost go unnoticed if I wasn't looking for them. As I look for such moments, my faith is grown exponentially. I learn that ministry isn't an event or a checklist or a feeling, it is a way of life. It is the trust that He is moving even when you don't see or feel like He is. It is seeing each moment as a way that God is working to accomplish His perfect will, whatever that may be. 

 

He is working in the fact that we tried to go pray for patients at a clinic on Monday but arrived to find it empty and told to come back the next day. When we did, we were unexpectedly greeted by dozens and dozens of people who had come for free tests and lab work, which evidently only happens once every now and then, and which we had no idea about. We stumbled into this opportunity to extend the love of Christ to so many people, and as I prayed for newborn Solomon and elderly Amina and countless others, I knew that God was undeniably in control. We have to be obedient to follow Him into the places He calls, but as much as we can make plans and preparations, His purpose will be the one that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21) 

 

On Wednesday, my eyes were opened to part of His purpose in using me here, as I saw my little primary school friend Rachel for the first time in a few weeks. Simple moments like these are exactly the ones that could be so easily overlooked, as this relationship has nothing to do with our primary ministry and usually has little effect on my day-to-day life here. Or so I thought, until I went days without seeing her and genuinely missed her to the point of praying we would see each other soon. When we finally did, we ran to one another into the biggest, sweetest hug, her arms wrapped tightly around my waist and her little face smiling up at me with the joy of the Lord. When I first met Rachel months ago, I had no idea that God would use me to be His hands and feet to her, and that she would feel that love as deeply as she has. In a note she wrote me, she thanked me for "be her best friend in world", and I have seen so clearly the lasting impact that simple acts of love can have. God knew what He was doing when He put this sweet 9 year-old in my path and He has been completely in control of every encounter we've had and will continue to have during my time left here. 

 

God also knows what He is doing through the relationship I have with an older boy named Benedict. A conversation that began 4 days ago when he asked me to pray for his schoolwork has so far turned into fasting and praying together, and establishing that we meet once a week to read the Bible together and discuss what we are learning, all of which Benedict has initiated. I have tried a number of times to start similar things with other boys and been discouraged when they fall apart for a number of different reasons. And then Benedict came along and I learned again the lesson about trying to plan according to my own will, when God is the one to establish my steps and accomplish the work.

 

I never thought that God would be accomplishing His will here by using me in cheering on the boys in a district football tournament, and riding home packed in the back of a pickup truck with the whole team, or in sneakily playing Tic-Tac-Toe with Mukama during a long assembly, but throughout this week I have seen and felt that He certainly is. God is present in dancing to the Macarena and running around and jumping so much during worship that I have to stop to catch my breath, and in getting to explain to the boys why we celebrate Good Friday, and in the power going out leaving us in complete darkness as we worshipped late last night into this morning. 

 

He is in the blessing of being able to celebrate Easter on a different continent thousands of miles away from one family but completely united with my brothers and sisters here. He has used this week, and this entire season of my life to teach me that He doesn't change when I leave behind everything safe and familiar to move to a different country and dive head first into a different culture. He doesn't change when I have great days at ministry or when I am more discouraged than I have ever been. He doesn't change whether I see Him working in the most radical or simplest of ways. He is the same yesterday, today and forever, and He is completely in control over the past, present and future. He is working it all out for our good and His glory. And if I didn't know it before I came here, I certainly know now that God is sovereign.