That is what I've heard relentlessly the past four months. And it is a lie: a total lie. I have purpose, and I intend to fulfill it.
The past four months have been a particularly perilous season in my life; it has been a time of confusion and clarity, impossible and improbable, smoke and mirrors, the effaceable and the inevitable. The past four days have been a culmination of all those things, a marvelous release of things cramped within so long one hardly knows how to utter them anymore. I had a tight-taught, chaotic mess of thoughts, so dense and so immense that I forgot how to hear the voice of God over all the noise of this world.
But clarity always comes clearest when the fog is most dense, the shadows deepest, and the mist heaviest. I felt heavy as air, light as lead, bright as a bulb burnt out and dead – an undressed mannequin, a shaven wolf, a scorpion without a stinger, a horse without a hoof. But all of that changed, and in an instant (yes, a mere instant) I found that clarity I had been so adamantly seeking for so long. Words of truth were spoken into my heart of hearts, the words of the Holy Spirit whispering, "Child, your identity is only ever in me. You are mine, you are precious to me, and I love you." God has shown me just how much I will need to surrender my strength, my constant need to be this immaculate example for others: I can't do that, but God did!
So, by the power of Father, by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and by the work of the Holy Spirit within me, I will embark on this journey now with boldness, with the strength that comes from weakness – that is the strength of God! Friends, I am so excited to begin this journey to Uganda; the past four days of training camp have been unspeakable and empowering in the Lord, and we haven't even left yet. God will do greater things still.
God wins.
Benjamin Scott Campbell
@the_passport
